Last week, I shared with your the first 5 steps, to get you thinking and looking into how you can be kind to yourself and creating a positive habit which becomes second nature in feeling better about yourself. Remember being kind to yourself (if you aren't used to it), takes time, and means there will be times you slip, and the important thing is not to beat yourself up about it. This goes against the whole principle of being kind and feeling positive about yourself. Just accept it for what it is and keep going. Are you ready for the next 5? Lets get started...
Be Honest with Yourself
Tough love time, there is no point in lying to yourself, I know burying your head in the sand or pretending things are better than there are or perhaps keeping up appearances feels like the only to behave. WRONG. The only person this is affecting is you. All those feelings you stuff down, don't just disappear, they manifest themselves into other ways. whether thats becoming health issues, increased anxiety and stress levels, irritability and many other ways. A lot of being honest with yourself, is accepting yourself for who you are, your triumphs, your feelings, whats going on and sitting with yourself to know that you are ok just being you and as such, you have to dig deep to find the truth. This may not come quickly and more often than not, it doesn't, we are a genius of hiding our true emotions, but with time and patience and acceptance of what will be will be, you will finally see what your truth is. Don't be afraid of it, embrace the unknown and accept everything that comes forth from it.
This is by far the most important way to help improve your kindness to yourself. By getting a good nights sleep, you help regulate your hormones, balance your emotions and allow your body the rest and relaxation it needs to function at its optimum. Sleep is so important, when we don't feel great about ourselves, our sleeping pattern can get erratic which tends to mean we react badly to things and the spiral of negativity perpetuates and becomes a real struggle to overcome... A good nights sleep can help change all that and put the scale of positivity higher on the list. So whether thats getting the optimum hours of sleep that works for you or cat napping throughout the day for you as well. Make sure you get your zzz in!
Know Your Own Strengths
We all have them, you might not feel like you do at times, but there is no way you have got this far without having tenacity, instinct, skills etc in many areas of our lives, the important thing is to find what they are and work with them. Use your strengths to help you further along and create a environment of positivity. Whether these are people skills, general skills, life skills, something is always something and you just need to tap into what works for you and make the most of it.
Accept Your Imperfections
We are human, we are not perfect, we hold ourselves to an impossible expectation and put that expectation on to others, which in turn leads to disappointment and self flagellation. Stop this! Learn to embrace every little thing about yourself, life is not just about focusing on all your positive points, but to accept all the things you find uncomfortable about yourself or you feel a little insecure about. You are perfect just as you are, you are unique and special and I know it sounds a lot easier said than done but start slow, one thing at a time. Recognise it, understand it, see the benefits and and slowly start to like it, for example, if its your weight and you feel a little rounder than you would want to be, stand in front of a mirror in your underwear and stand there and really look, look at your lovely curves, how your body suits you, the definition you see and start to say to yourself.."I am beautiful//handsome, I am sexy, I am amazing and deserve this body. I feel good in this body" Say it everyday until eventually you start to look in the mirror and see the amazing body you have!
Work on Forgiving Yourself On The Big Stuff
Take it slow, as with everything, when you start learning to be kind to yourself, learning to let yourself off the hook and forgive yourself on matters, is important. There is no point harbouring regret or guilt from years ago. If you cannot do anything about it and whats done is done, learn to forgive yourself. Accept whats happened and find peace with it so that you no longer should the burden. Letting go of things you cannot change will help you immensely in being able to look after you and your heart. As well as being able to appreciate and be understanding to others. Forgiving yourself allows you to be more forgiving to others... its a better place to be in rather than shouldering the guilt and pain.
Take it slow and in small increments, don't jump feet first into doing everything as it will be a lot harder that first anticipated. Find one thing on the list that you feel you can work with and start there, its a slow process but worth the time to invest and work through it... Never give up on yourself xx